Office Technology

As a one woman show, I rely heavily on office technology. I can not operate without it. The tech companies know this. All my equipment knows this. However, they are insecure and frequently need to remind me of this in not so subtle ways.
I upgraded my word processing and template software. With the new advances I can complete 1 document before the program crashes. And it's not just a crash, nooooo, it's a spectacular crash because it spends 10 minutes going through a recovery program that you can't ignore, short of unplugging the computer, and has not yet recovered anything. I upgraded my all-in-one printer. Now I can print a couple of documents or receive a couple of faxes before it refuses to do anything else because it is out of memory. A printer with alzheimers is just what I needed. I got a remote infrared mouse with its own charger. I change the batteries every other week as the charger's main function appears to be paperweight work and not charging. I have a specific business e-mail account so I only have to wade through 100 spam e-mails a day instead of the 500 that go to my personal account. I still don't know what a MILF is or if it needs a divorce. My cell phone is the star in its own episode of the Outer Limits and routinely takes control of itself and cuts off my calls. Then there's tech support. The word processor support was kind enough to e-mail a boiler plate answer that had nothing to do whatsoever with the problem. The tech support for my printer barely spoke English and I'm not sure they were in a country that actually has printers. When my internet went down, all the solutions offered to me by tech support were only available on the internet.
Last week I bought a new legal pad. At least it's still working.