Kicking Off Your Divorce
Lesson 2 on the ABC's of Divorce in New Jersey.
You've decided that the thought of dating people with more baggage than you is a better life than staying married, you want a divorce. You've hired yourself a lawyer and you're ready to go.
Your lawyer will start with information gathering. Most of the info is financial. Assets, debts, budgets, income, insurance, investments, etc. Basically everything you have amassed and are now going to share with your undeserving spouse. Be ready for this. Before you see your lawyer, gather all this stuff together and take it with you.
Some of the info is personal, date of marriage, kids, reason for divorce. Also have this ready.
When you see your lawyer, try to stick to the facts. Your lawyer will charge you a hefty amount to sit and listen to what a low-life your spouse is but it won't help your case for the most part. If you really need to blow off steam and trash your spouse, I suggest you grab your best friend and buy them drinks all night for the privilege of being an amateur therapist. Plus they already know the situation and will agree with you.
The first step in the divorce is the filing of a Complaint. Filing fees are $250 unless you have kids, then it's $275 because you get to pay for the parenting class. The complaint sets out all the basic facts including the grounds for your divorce. There are numerous grounds under which you can file and you can file multiple grounds if you're really pissed off. Except when custody is an issue, the grounds don't matter. No-fault means no fault. If you're filing under extreme cruelty you will need specific incidents including dates. For example, on January 1, 2005 my spouse hid my lucky underpants so that I would have a bad year. If you want to use adultery you need names, dates and places. The alduteree also has to be served with a Notice to Correspondent. This does not mean that you spouse has to cheat on you with a television reporter, the adulteree is the correspondent regardless of their profession. Separation is 18 months in New Jersey, please give your lawyer a separation date that is at least 18 months past. If you have the old "spouse in the basement" case you can still file for separation if you have not slept in the same room. Lesser seen grounds are desertion for 12 months, deviant sexual conduct, addiction/alcoholism, being in the funny farm for 2 years and being in the hoosegow for 18 months. Your lawyer will guide you as to the best ground(s) to use in your case.
A summons is filed with the complaint. It tells the defendant, (your spouse who is now the defendant because what they have done to you is criminal), that oyeh, oyeh you are being sued for divorce. In New Jersey, an affidavit of insurance which outlines every single insurance you and/or your spouse has is also filed. This includes, medical, car, life, house, etc. DO NOT mess with any insurance, it is illegal in NJ to drop your spouse from any insurance within 90 days of filing for divorce and thereafter. It may make you happy now to know that your spouse will receive huge doctor bills after you dump them off your insurance but it won't when the judge makes you pay those bills and reinstate the insurance at your cost. A confidential litigant information statement is also filed which gives all your basic info.
Once all this is prepared the defendant must be served. Although there are several way to serve the defendant, I prefer service by sheriff. This is personal service and the sheriff provides an affidavit of service to the court. Plus, isn't it fun to imagine the neighbor's reaction when the sheriff knocks on your spouse's door? It usually costs between $20-$30 dollars. I have on occasion personally served the defendant myself but I can't say I like it, a little awkward. In certain cases you can serve the defendant by mail. If you don't know where your spouse is living, there are substitute ways to effect service which your attorney will explain to you.
If you have children or have not worked for quite a while, you will probably also file a pendente lite motion, a motion pending the litigation of the divorce. In this motion you can ask for custody or visitation, child support and alimony. Depending on your situation, there are other things you can ask for, such as selling assets to fund your divorce or prohibiting your spouse to sell any assets, but these are case by case. Again, rely on your lawyer for this, that's why you're paying them your life savings.
Be prepared for your spouse's response, both in their documents and in court. Although you weren't aware of it, you are a crack head whore. Divorce is like death, right before you are divorced, your life will flash before you but this time it is at the courtesy of your spouse. The fact that you farted during the wedding ceremony will be brought to the court's attention if it will help the case. I suggest that mud-slinging be kept to a minimum unless it really will impact your case, most of my clients disagree with me. Again, use your best friend for this purpose, not your divorce case.
Your spouse has beat you to the court house and you have been served already. You will have to file an answer and/or a counterclaim or an appearance. This will cost you $135 unless you have kids and then it's $160. Your lawyer will also tell you the best route to take here. You will have 35 days from when you were served so don't drag your heels or you may find yourself divorced without any participation on your part. Your spouse does not need your cooperation to get a divorce.
Congratulations, you are the proud owner of a docket number. Next lesson, the discovery period.
You've decided that the thought of dating people with more baggage than you is a better life than staying married, you want a divorce. You've hired yourself a lawyer and you're ready to go.
Your lawyer will start with information gathering. Most of the info is financial. Assets, debts, budgets, income, insurance, investments, etc. Basically everything you have amassed and are now going to share with your undeserving spouse. Be ready for this. Before you see your lawyer, gather all this stuff together and take it with you.
Some of the info is personal, date of marriage, kids, reason for divorce. Also have this ready.
When you see your lawyer, try to stick to the facts. Your lawyer will charge you a hefty amount to sit and listen to what a low-life your spouse is but it won't help your case for the most part. If you really need to blow off steam and trash your spouse, I suggest you grab your best friend and buy them drinks all night for the privilege of being an amateur therapist. Plus they already know the situation and will agree with you.
The first step in the divorce is the filing of a Complaint. Filing fees are $250 unless you have kids, then it's $275 because you get to pay for the parenting class. The complaint sets out all the basic facts including the grounds for your divorce. There are numerous grounds under which you can file and you can file multiple grounds if you're really pissed off. Except when custody is an issue, the grounds don't matter. No-fault means no fault. If you're filing under extreme cruelty you will need specific incidents including dates. For example, on January 1, 2005 my spouse hid my lucky underpants so that I would have a bad year. If you want to use adultery you need names, dates and places. The alduteree also has to be served with a Notice to Correspondent. This does not mean that you spouse has to cheat on you with a television reporter, the adulteree is the correspondent regardless of their profession. Separation is 18 months in New Jersey, please give your lawyer a separation date that is at least 18 months past. If you have the old "spouse in the basement" case you can still file for separation if you have not slept in the same room. Lesser seen grounds are desertion for 12 months, deviant sexual conduct, addiction/alcoholism, being in the funny farm for 2 years and being in the hoosegow for 18 months. Your lawyer will guide you as to the best ground(s) to use in your case.
A summons is filed with the complaint. It tells the defendant, (your spouse who is now the defendant because what they have done to you is criminal), that oyeh, oyeh you are being sued for divorce. In New Jersey, an affidavit of insurance which outlines every single insurance you and/or your spouse has is also filed. This includes, medical, car, life, house, etc. DO NOT mess with any insurance, it is illegal in NJ to drop your spouse from any insurance within 90 days of filing for divorce and thereafter. It may make you happy now to know that your spouse will receive huge doctor bills after you dump them off your insurance but it won't when the judge makes you pay those bills and reinstate the insurance at your cost. A confidential litigant information statement is also filed which gives all your basic info.
Once all this is prepared the defendant must be served. Although there are several way to serve the defendant, I prefer service by sheriff. This is personal service and the sheriff provides an affidavit of service to the court. Plus, isn't it fun to imagine the neighbor's reaction when the sheriff knocks on your spouse's door? It usually costs between $20-$30 dollars. I have on occasion personally served the defendant myself but I can't say I like it, a little awkward. In certain cases you can serve the defendant by mail. If you don't know where your spouse is living, there are substitute ways to effect service which your attorney will explain to you.
If you have children or have not worked for quite a while, you will probably also file a pendente lite motion, a motion pending the litigation of the divorce. In this motion you can ask for custody or visitation, child support and alimony. Depending on your situation, there are other things you can ask for, such as selling assets to fund your divorce or prohibiting your spouse to sell any assets, but these are case by case. Again, rely on your lawyer for this, that's why you're paying them your life savings.
Be prepared for your spouse's response, both in their documents and in court. Although you weren't aware of it, you are a crack head whore. Divorce is like death, right before you are divorced, your life will flash before you but this time it is at the courtesy of your spouse. The fact that you farted during the wedding ceremony will be brought to the court's attention if it will help the case. I suggest that mud-slinging be kept to a minimum unless it really will impact your case, most of my clients disagree with me. Again, use your best friend for this purpose, not your divorce case.
Your spouse has beat you to the court house and you have been served already. You will have to file an answer and/or a counterclaim or an appearance. This will cost you $135 unless you have kids and then it's $160. Your lawyer will also tell you the best route to take here. You will have 35 days from when you were served so don't drag your heels or you may find yourself divorced without any participation on your part. Your spouse does not need your cooperation to get a divorce.
Congratulations, you are the proud owner of a docket number. Next lesson, the discovery period.
posted by The Legal Diva | 8:21 AM
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