Divorce 101
Many people just do not understand the divorce process and laws. Here's Part I of the crash course in divorce.
Some considerations before you proceed with obtaining a divorce. First make really really sure you want a divorce. A divorce is costly both financially and emotionally. It makes no sense to spend thousands of dollars hoping your spouse will change because the threat of divorce is hanging over their head. I will be happy to take your money but it's an expensive way to make a point. I have made very good money over the years filing multiple divorce actions for people who aren't sure a divorce is what they want. Most of the time waiting a bit won't change anything about your case and may save you lots of grief.
Second, if you decide it's really what you want, see if you and your spouse can come to a settlement. You'll save lots of time and aggravation if you settle your case before you even approach a lawyer or a Court. If you and your spouse need a referee but think you could settle your case, consider hiring an arbitrator, it's a less expensive route but you still have legal guidance.
Third, you either have no issues or you've settled your case. Think very carefully before you go to one of the many advertised "divorce stores" or proceed pro se (representing yourself). Even if your case is settled, there are rules and procedures that have to be followed. It can be very complicated. I get many cases where people have started on their own and mess it up so bad they come to me. Basically, I'm just putting the divorce through. It's usually pretty cheap because you've done most of the work. Also, the divorce stores really just give you the documents and guidelines, they are not permitted to provide you with any legal advice. Many of my clients spend good money for the packet and then are unable to put the divorce through because they don't have any idea how to. Call around and get prices from lawyers as to the cost of simply putting your divorce through. Many will give you a flat fee.
Fourth, make sure you have the money for a divorce. The filing fees alone are usually a couple hundred dollars. If your divorce is hostile and involves lots of disputed issues you're looking at spending thousands and even possibly tens of thousands.
OK, you aren't going to be able to cheap out with a quickie divorce. You need a lawyer. Make sure you hire a family/matrimonial lawyer. Most lawyers are specialists anymore. If you hire the real estate lawyer your brother-in-law recommends the only good part of your divorce will be when you close on the home you have lost to your spouse. Referrals from friends and family who have had family law issues are the best source for getting a good lawyer. Call around to check prices and also to get a feel for potential lawyers. If you don't like or trust your lawyer, your divorce is going to be nightmare for both of you. Do not hire a friend or family member unless you are prepared to hate them for the rest of your life.
Last in today's lesson, be prepared to tell everything to your lawyer from when you bonked your spouse with the dog leash to the amount of money you're making under the table. As a lawyer it is quite an unpleasant surprise to discover in Court that your client is a bigamist/made $100,00 under the table last year/was arrested for drug dealing last week. Your lawyer can't do their job if they don't have all the information.
Stayed tuned for our next lesson: kicking off the divorce.
Some considerations before you proceed with obtaining a divorce. First make really really sure you want a divorce. A divorce is costly both financially and emotionally. It makes no sense to spend thousands of dollars hoping your spouse will change because the threat of divorce is hanging over their head. I will be happy to take your money but it's an expensive way to make a point. I have made very good money over the years filing multiple divorce actions for people who aren't sure a divorce is what they want. Most of the time waiting a bit won't change anything about your case and may save you lots of grief.
Second, if you decide it's really what you want, see if you and your spouse can come to a settlement. You'll save lots of time and aggravation if you settle your case before you even approach a lawyer or a Court. If you and your spouse need a referee but think you could settle your case, consider hiring an arbitrator, it's a less expensive route but you still have legal guidance.
Third, you either have no issues or you've settled your case. Think very carefully before you go to one of the many advertised "divorce stores" or proceed pro se (representing yourself). Even if your case is settled, there are rules and procedures that have to be followed. It can be very complicated. I get many cases where people have started on their own and mess it up so bad they come to me. Basically, I'm just putting the divorce through. It's usually pretty cheap because you've done most of the work. Also, the divorce stores really just give you the documents and guidelines, they are not permitted to provide you with any legal advice. Many of my clients spend good money for the packet and then are unable to put the divorce through because they don't have any idea how to. Call around and get prices from lawyers as to the cost of simply putting your divorce through. Many will give you a flat fee.
Fourth, make sure you have the money for a divorce. The filing fees alone are usually a couple hundred dollars. If your divorce is hostile and involves lots of disputed issues you're looking at spending thousands and even possibly tens of thousands.
OK, you aren't going to be able to cheap out with a quickie divorce. You need a lawyer. Make sure you hire a family/matrimonial lawyer. Most lawyers are specialists anymore. If you hire the real estate lawyer your brother-in-law recommends the only good part of your divorce will be when you close on the home you have lost to your spouse. Referrals from friends and family who have had family law issues are the best source for getting a good lawyer. Call around to check prices and also to get a feel for potential lawyers. If you don't like or trust your lawyer, your divorce is going to be nightmare for both of you. Do not hire a friend or family member unless you are prepared to hate them for the rest of your life.
Last in today's lesson, be prepared to tell everything to your lawyer from when you bonked your spouse with the dog leash to the amount of money you're making under the table. As a lawyer it is quite an unpleasant surprise to discover in Court that your client is a bigamist/made $100,00 under the table last year/was arrested for drug dealing last week. Your lawyer can't do their job if they don't have all the information.
Stayed tuned for our next lesson: kicking off the divorce.
posted by The Legal Diva | 12:13 PM
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