No Fault

No Fault: when determining equitable distribution and support, the actual or perceived fault of either party is not a factor to be considered. 100% of my clients understand the concept of no fault when they get divorced. 100% of my clients want to make fault arguments and manage to do so with or without my help. The problem with no fault is that it is a rational, policy based concept. Marriage is not rational nor policy based, it is emotional. Divorce ups the ante on irrationality and emotions to a level of temporary insanity. That is why my clients refuse to accept it. The judge does not care that your husband stopped by the local bar every night after work for 6 years while you slaved at home taking care of the kids. The opposing counsel is not going to be convinced that their client is the devil incarnate because they had an affair 3 years ago nor will it make them switch to your side. I do not care that the 2 of you spent your entire marriage slapping each other silly. Besides the entertainment factor your stories provide, no one but you and your spouse care. My clients have a deep compelling need to prove the worst about their spouse regardless that it won't mean a thing to their divorce. They must be vindicated and proven to be the good person in the marriage. There is something to be said for the carthetic effect this may have on divorcing people. Therefore I am proposing this addition to divorce law: Since people are so determined to throw stones at each other let's do it! The parties can stand 5 feet from each other. After the National Anthem, there is the traditional coin toss. The winner goes first. Each party in turn is allowed to make one accusation or bring up one incident against the other. They then chuck the stone at the other person as hard as they can, head shots are illegal and you lose your turn. If one of the parties is clearly physically weaker than the other, they may choose a proxy who is comparable in strength to their spouse. The last party standing gets a certificate, suitable for framing, from the Court acknowledging that they are the good person.
I really like the idea but until the legislature sees it my way, the law will remain the same: you are both idiots and because of that you will split everything.